10 Things you should stop doing in a romantic relationship

 10 Things you should stop doing in a romantic relationship

You probably have some behaviors that drive your partner crazy, and you’re about to find out what they are, because you’re about to stop doing these things. Here are 10 things you should stop doing in a romantic relationship and why it’s important to do so if you want to keep your partner happy.

1) Stop nagging

Nagging is an attempt to exert control, and there’s little that’s attractive about that. Nagging creates more tension than it solves. Don’t do it. If something’s important to you, explain why and if your partner still isn’t on board with your idea or decision, let it go and figure out how to get past their resistance. You can’t force someone to want what you want—it just doesn’t work like that. And nagging will only lead to resentment and hurt feelings. Instead of forcing your desires on others, try listening to them instead.

 Ask questions and really try to understand where they’re coming from. This is not only good for relationships but also great for business! What might seem unimportant at first could be key to helping you understand how people think and act around you. Listening goes a long way toward building trust and respect as well as getting buy-in from others (even if they don’t agree).

2) Stop making excuses

If your partner is feeling a little under-appreciated, don’t tell them to get over it. Stop looking for ways to blame problems on anything and anyone but yourself and start taking responsibility for your actions and decisions. 

Start standing up for what you believe in, even if it goes against popular opinion or means facing backlash from others. And when you make mistakes, own up to them instead of blaming someone else. You’ll find that people are much more willing to forgive and forget when they know that you aren’t making excuses behind their back.

3) Stop complaining

Whatever is upsetting you probably has absolutely nothing to do with your partner, and even if it does, chances are, he’s sick of hearing about it by now. By focusing on what’s wrong, or ways that your partner could be better (or more like someone else), all you’re doing is creating resentment and weakening both of your feelings for each other. Focus on something positive instead. Maybe focus on how lucky you are to have found such an amazing person who makes life worth living. Or maybe focus on how much fun you had last weekend when you did something together, rather than whatever drama happened at work.

4) Stop controlling your partner

No one likes to be treated like property, and yet, many people feel that’s what relationships have become. If you’re still treating your partner like an object or trying to control her, it’s time to reevaluate your motivations for having a partner in general. You can achieve happiness all on your own, there’s no need to drag someone else into it with you.

 Once you truly grasp that concept, improving communication skills will be easier than ever. 

Your partner will be more willing to listen to you because she won’t see you as being controlling; instead, she’ll see you as being considerate of her needs. And when there are fewer arguments about who controls whom, trust is built more quickly and jealousy becomes less of an issue.

5) Stop being jealous

It’s not just silly, it’s detrimental to your relationship. When you’re on high alert, it’s impossible to relax and be yourself. This is not fun for anyone involved! Be easy on yourself and your partner, you love each other; that means someone else liking them is a bonus. 

What if one of your friends got jealous every time you went out with another friend? You wouldn’t want to spend all your time trying to reassure her or him that nothing was going on between you two, right? So why do we think our partners will react any differently when we get jealous about their friends? They won’t.


6) Stop blaming them for your mistakes

Relationships are about accepting each other for who they are, and if you can’t handle that then it’s time to take a hard look at yourself. No one is perfect, but there’s certainly some ground rules when it comes to treating your partner with respect.

7) Stop fighting over petty things

Arguing over stuff like not washing dishes or picking up after yourself, is one of those things that would never have become an issue if you guys had discussed it before moving in together. 

It’s easy to assume that your significant other knows what’s expected of them just because they are supposed to know, but sometimes assumptions can hurt more than help. Have an open conversation about what each of your expectations are and be prepared to negotiate on certain matters.

8) Stop assuming they don’t care about what bothers you

Often, when a problem arises with your partner, we assume they aren’t listening or don’t care. Chances are good that they do care and simply need more information to help them figure out how to fix it. So speak up! Weigh in on what bothers you, and ask for their perspective too. You may be surprised at what you learn about each other’s thoughts and feelings when sharing problems openly. If they really don’t care, then you can take action from there. But if they really do care, opening up will give them a chance to prove it.

9) Stop expecting them to read your mind

If you want something, ask for it. You might be afraid that asking means they don’t care or they will reject your request, but it doesn’t mean either of those things. Instead, showing your partner that you need and value them can strengthen an existing bond or save one on life support.

 In other words, when you take initiative and make your needs known, you are more likely to get what you want from your partner, and have him or her feel good about themselves because they were able to give it to you. And when you start acting like you expect to get what you want, chances are high that it will happen! So go ahead and ask away! Here’s a little secret: your guy or gal is already wondering what he or she can do for you; most people just aren’t sure how to communicate their wants and needs.

10) If it doesn’t work, talk about it!

Relationships have natural ups and downs. Communication is key for any healthy, functioning relationship. If something’s bothering you about your partner, it’s best to address it directly and be honest about how it makes you feel rather than let problems snowball out of control.

 If your partner reacts poorly to these conversations or doesn’t want to hear what you have to say, that might be an indication of bigger issues on their end.

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